Q: What is a Power of Attorney and do I need one?

A: A Power of Attorney (PoA) is a legal document that allows you to act on your spouse's behalf and to sign their name for official documents and transactions. It will be necessary to have a PoA if you need to buy, sell or rent a house while your spouse is on deployment. It might also be necessary to have a PoA if you want to buy a car, collect household goods, or set up your next move (just be sure to tell your spouse where you're moving). 

This is partly why Dustin fears the PoA, even if he knows it is absolutely necessary. In his absence and with the authority to sign his name on legal documents, Dustin knows that I could basically divorce him without him knowing it. Worse, I could sell all of his baseball cards and put the money in a secret account. Not that I would ever do either, but I wouldn't be opposed to selling his car and buying myself a new one for all the lonely nights and sacrifice of waiting at home while he is away. I'm just saying.

Q: I want to plan a trip to Disney World together before my spouse's deployment. My friends tell me it's a bad idea. Your thoughts?

A: Your friends are correct. Sort of. Remember how that trip to Disney when you were 8-months pregnant seemed like a good idea until you were actually there? It might be the same way before your husband's deployment. Pre-deployment is wrought with intense emotions. Disney may be the happiest place on Earth, but it is foolish competitor to the period of time before your spouse leaves. When I picture going to Disney with Dustin while we are in pre-deployment mode, I see us wanting to be excited and having fun, but actually feeling forced and pressured by -- of extremely jealous of -- all the happy people around us.

And yet, some couples think a trip away from everyday life is the perfect solution to pre-deployment jitters. Apart from the housework and bills, you and your spouse can focus on each other. Which is why friends shouldn't give friends blanket advice like this. What works for one couple might not work for another. So long as you and your spouse agree on how to spend your pre-deployment days, you are halfway to having a good time (if "good" and "pre-deployment" can even be in the same sentence).

Q: Six months seems like forever. How will I make it through such a long deployment?

A: Alcoholics Anonymous has "one day at a time," and you'd be wise to adopt the phrase during your spouse's deployment. Looking at time in its totality is enough to make you bury your head under the covers and not come out until Homecoming. But you don't have that luxury. So divide the deployment into manageable sections. When Dustin was gone, I counted how many times I had to take out the trash until he got back. (Word of Caution: if the deployment is lengthened, as they sometimes are, you will be forced to add to your countdown.)

One of the best countdown ideas I ever heard was to create a paper chain with the number of links that matches the days your loved one will be deployment. Each day, you and your children remove a ring, write the date on the front and then a memory from the day on the back. Then you create a new chain working backwards. The theory here is that when your spouse returns, you will have a new chain that is somewhat like a diary of your family's happenings while he/she was away. Again, however, be prepared to add or remove links from the chain as necessary. If your children are young, this shouldn't be a problem. They might not be able to count the links anyway. But even a two-year old will notice if the chain is hanging from the ceiling like a stiff hangnail one day and then it is long and dragging on the floor the next. 

Once I kept a jar full of Hershey's Kisses in the same amount as Dustin's projected days of deployment. I was supposed to eat a Hershey's Kiss each night. Except, loneliness and boredom create danger for small chocolates left unattended on the kitchen counter, and I ate my way through all the Kisses of deployment before Dustin had been gone a week.

Keep all of these anecdotes in mind as you choose a way to keep track of the days. But don't forget these other apropos cliches: "time flies when you're having fun" and "a watched pot doesn't boil." Busy yourself with hobbies and personal interests while your spouse is away, and you might just forget how long the days really are.