Dear Ms. Vicki,

"I'm a new Army wife and my husband and I are preparing for his next deployment this coming January. I live approximately three hours from base and I was wondering if there were any services available to wives who live out of the base system during deployments. I'm trying to become active in the bases FRG, however, it will be difficult for me to get to the base for many of the activities as I work full time in Queensbury, NY and my husband is stationed at Fort Drum, NY. If you give me any information or maybe somewhere to look for information it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time."

From Assistance Off Base

Dear Assistance, 

I’m familiar with the Fort Drum area. Your best option will be online resources. There are several chats and support groups online. FRG’s are doing a great job of keeping in touch with remote spouses by phone and e-mail. Just let the group leaders know your situation and I know they'll happily keep you in the information loop. Because of your distance from base you'll have to plan appropriate times when you can visit the base and perhaps attend functions and meetings. Just know that you're still very important to the unit and the FRG no matter what your distance is to the base. If you ever need counseling support, or someone to listen to you distress or when times become hectic contact Military OneSource. They're staffed 24/7 to listen. I

If you would like to see someone in person they'll connect you with a professional counselor in your local community. It sounds like you're starting early to build a wellness plan. Though you do no live on base in the military community, I recommend your plan should be three fold. Think of ways to take care of yourself physically, mentally,emotionally and spiritually. For example, be sure to eat as healthy as possible and try to exercise as often as you can. Eating healthy and exercise really helps to decrease stress. Feel free to talk to a professional counselor for support and have many friends available who you can talk too. It’s important to have a sounding board. Seek spiritual outlets too. It may be meditating, going to church and even reading self help books. I really wish you well and I know first hand that deployments are difficult. However, I believe you can make it through. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how you're doing.

Hello Ms. Vicki,

"My fiancé is in the Army. He's currently in Ft.Benning for Airborne. After he graduated from basic he got to come home for a month due to stress fractures in his legs. Spending that month with him, then him leaving again for about a month was hard. I mean he was gone for four months, but this month has to be the hardest out of all of them. I was wondering if you have any ways that will prep me for a deployment. I know that the first deployment is going to be really hard for me. Thank you so much."

From Military Life

Dear Military Life it’s good to hear from you. Thank you so much for writing and  sharing your story. Deployments can be tough -- I know this first hand. I also remember living at Fort Benning when my husband was stationed there. Those were in the first years of his military career. I remember crying when he would go to the field for one week. Now I wish that was all we had to worry about was one-week separations. The fact still remains the same -- it doesn’t matter how long the deployments or trainings we want them home with us, right? I’m glad you're starting early to try and prepare for deployment. My first suggestions are to try and keep in touch with loving family and close friends to help you get through tough times.

Also, depend on your faith to provide strength, too. Begin to have talks with your fiancé about ways you will try to stay in touch and ways you both can strengthen your relationship across the miles. For example, my husband and I tried to instant message daily except times when he was away on missions, we emailed a lot, sent cards and letters in the mail, and I sent many care packages. We even talked and planned activities we would do together when he returned.

I know this won’t be the greatest or happiest months of your life while he is deployed but it will be a time for personal growth for both of you. Consider continuing your education, working part time or full time, or volunteer work in your community. This will keep you busy and provide opportunities for you to build new support groups from fellow co-workers and other students. Keep visiting Military.com's website because of the enormous information they offer on line. Stay in touch with me too, because I would like to know how you're doing. I wish you well.

Do you have a question for Ms. Vicki about deployments, making new friends at a new duty station, or military life in general? E-mail her at AskMsVicki@military-inc.com, and she'll answer your questions. Two Q&As will be published on Military.com's Advisor channel.