Memorial Day approaches.  How do I know this?  Because I'm being bombarded by television ads and newspaper inserts that tell me so.  Well, these ads don't tell me anything about Memorial Day, really; they tell me that as a result of this holiday I can buy one get one free or get things ten percent off.

Meanwhile wars involving the U.S. military are ongoing half a world away.  Every day Americans are still putting their lives on the line; and some of them are still giving their lives for our nation.

But the average citizen stateside probably isn't thinking about the wars and the sacrifices behind them.  To John Doe in Anytown, U.S.A. this is simply a long weekend, the unofficial commencement of summer.  Pools will open.  Kegs will flow.  And goods will be purchased - at Memorial Day discount prices.

But let's not blame John for his impression.  If he's guilty of anything it's watching too much TV and surfing too much Internet, and all he knows is what he's being told.  The media has moved on to other stories - the economy and how far our cars are supposed to go on a gallon of gas in 2016.  Plus he's just plain sick of the finger-pointing - you know, who knew what when and who lied to whom.  And even retired high-ranking officers added to his numbness on the topic with their blogs and on-air expertise that suggested that the other guys were hazarding the nation and just plain un-American.  John's innate desire to care (he even owns Saving Private Ryan on Blue-Ray) was long-since eclipsed by the noise of the arguments going on all around him.

And John supports the troops - after all, he has a faded yellow ribbon on the back of his 2004 Ford Expedition (that has lost all of its trade-in value) - but at the same time it hits him that the meaning of that statement has changed now.  Then "support the troops" meant you were for the invasion of Iraq (and John was . . . at least until it got messy with those insurgents); now it means giving them just enough benefits to keep them from becoming domestic terrorists.

So John's moved on.  But before we judge we might want to ask ourselves if we've moved on with him to some degree.  This Memorial Day maybe those of us no longer in uniform (perhaps along with those in uniform and not currently deployed) could take the time to do a gut check about how we may have contributed to John's attitudinal shift.  And how much "John" is there in each of us?

Military service is underwritten by an ideal that transcends politics and the cultural sensibilities of the day.  That's the timeless beauty of it.  That's not to say that service members shouldn't have strong opinions - they're leaders, after all - it's just to suggest that what has made their service honorable across American history is that those opinions were always subordinate to the Constitution and the orders of the Commander-in-chief.

Those priorities also axiomatically ensure that those who make the ultimate sacrifice do not die in vain.  Think back to your own military service and to those you knew who died in the line of duty either in war or while training for war.  Would you consider any of those losses to have been in vain as a result of the political climate at the time?

Secretary Gates has recommended that all Americans recognize a moment of silence at 3 pm local time on Memorial Day.  Let's use that moment wisely; make it personal.  Reflect on a lost buddy.  Remember him or her well.  In so doing, we'll remind ourselves why we served and why brave Americans continue to serve.

And then re-engage John.  Strike up a conversation with him and remind him that – although we have a new president - the wars aren't over (and those fighting them aren't there because of their political party affiliations).  Brave men and women are still losing their lives on a too-regular basis in hostile regions.  In spite of the distracting blare of media focused on domestic soap operas, it's not time to forget about them yet.