long white ponytail was sitting silent behind Genie next to a stocky Romanian family, none of whom spoke English and who, even in the frigid morning breeze, exuded a miasma of garlic as they yelled and waved small American flags at their Marine, and blocked the view so that the pale quiet well-dressed family from Maine, sitting behind them, had to step out onto the stairs to see their Marine out on the deck.

None of the Marines looked our wa y no matter how much we waved or hollered their names. "Eyes front," they stood at attention trouser legs flapping in the steady cold wind. I fell into a reverie…

The platitudes my educated Boston area North Shore friends mouthed about "racial harmony" and economic and "gender diversity" were nothing compared to the common purpose uniting the parents gathered in the stands to honor our Marines. In Georgetown, when I had visited Francis I always noticed that the African-American students seemed to sit in their own corner of the dining hall, roomed with each other and kept to themselves, as did the whites and other "ethnic groupings." I glanced around at the other civilians on the stands. We were strangers but our Marine sons were brothers.

We were cheering and rushing out of the packed stands and embracing our sons, brothers, si sters, cousins and each other. Then we were packing up and hauling John's sea bag and his canvas hanging-bag to the rented car. John's last words on Parris Island were, "Stay motivated!" spoken out the car window to three new and frightened looking recruits who glanced at him in awe, said, "Yes, sir!" and hurried on.

In our book my son describes how he changed by becoming a Marine:

"If the recruiters had tried to explain the truth about the Corps to me before I signed up I would not have understood them. I got the message about being 'the proud, the few' but it hardly told the story. People enlisted in the Corps for selfish reasons: self improvement; because they were broke; because they had nothing better to do; had something to prove to fathers, mothers, and girlfriends; or for training that would ‘pay off' later in the civilian world, such as aviation electronics. Some joined to follow in the footsteps of fathers and brothers.

"After we got to Parris Island, our reasons for wanting to be Marines changed and deepened or we got sent home. By the end of boot camp each of us knew we would do the job and do it well, not because we wanted to kill people or die, but because each Marine relies on another Marine watching his or her back.

"That was the difference between the reasons most of us had for joining and the reality of what boot camp turned us into, and how it changed our thinking. For whatever half-assed reason we joined, by the time boot camp was done we were aware of our responsibility to the other Marines who depended on us. The issue was not one of patriotism.

"Most of all loyalty to the Corps was something boot camp made tangible. By the end of boot camp we were trying to be good Marines out of loyalty to the Marine standing next to us and to those who would follow us onto the yellow footprints we had stood on three long months ago. On Parris Island I came to see and believe what I was told; each mission is dependent on another that came before. When it came down to it, as any recruit could tell you by the end of his or her training, the Marine next to you is more important than you are."
 
They don't teach that lesson at Harvard, Columbia and our other top schools. What they teach is that the "little people" should serve while "we" the elite profit. That is the Harvard/Columbia "ethic." It is what led to the greed-fed, "me" economy that has collapsed.

It's time we give the military its due, and consider volunteering and/or encouraging our own children to do so. President Obama is right: Columbia, Harvard et al need to encourage military service. Vietnam is over. Bush is gone. President Obama will resolve the gays-in-the-military issue. Now what is the excuse for waiting for others to serve, and never "our kind?"

Support the military; better yet, volunteer.