The last two weeks I discussed the complexities of adjusting to a community that isn't centered around a military base. From struggling to find a doctor without Uncle Sam assigning me one at the Navy hospital, to reuniting with the commissary as if it was a long lost friend, I discovered that going from a military community to a civilian one feels a lot like culture shock.

However, perhaps the biggest adjustment of all is missing the constant interaction with other military families. Where once my military friends filled the churches, malls, and parks that I frequented, now I can go days, or even weeks, without coming across another person who knows that when I say my friend is taking "leave"  it means she is taking "vacation," or that PX stands for "The Exchange."

Of course, I don't mean to imply that civilian friends aren't wonderful. On the contrary, they are often needed and treasured, lest we become totally consumed by the world of the military, which can sometimes feel like a bubble. But military friends also can't be replaced. To be without them is like a doctor or teacher living in complete isolation from anyone who understands and shares the joys and hardships of their profession.

I sensed the absence of military friends this month, when, as if on cue, a local chapter of the Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) invited me and Dustin to join them for their quarterly luncheon in Bangor, Maine.

Although Bangor is home to a National Guard base, there are very few active-duty servicemembers here, so the Pine Tree chapter of MOAA is mostly comprised of retirees. Every branch of service, from the Coast Guard to the Marines, is represented.

As soon as Dustin and I entered the meeting hall overlooking the frozen Penobscot River, we felt at home. There was chatter throughout the room of people mixing and mingling, and we heard familiar words such as "tour," "deployment," and "duty station" peppered here and there.

When the meeting began, everyone stood, one by one, to introduce themselves. I was amazed at the span of generations and experiences represented. There were World War II and Vietnam veterans as well as servicemembers who retired more recently. Most of them have gone on to have and complete entire careers outside of the military. They were lawyers, real estate agents, entrepreneurs. In other words, they also have lives without the military now, but once every few months, they gather together to share in the camaraderie of military life past or present. 

At this particular meeting, the members of MOAA's Pine Tree chapter were awarding ROTC students from nearby University of Maine with scholarships. Their active-duty military instructor stood to introduce them, but before he did that, he took a moment to thank the room for their service, noting that the elder generation, with their honorable service and sacrifice, is part of what inspires newer generations to join the military themselves. It was a touching moment of new and old, beginnings and endings. Here was a room full of retired servicemembers recognizing a handful of new ones, who in turn gave thanks back to them. 

The luncheon continued with old sea stories and tales from the homefront. For a moment, if I closed my eyes and only listened, I would not have known if I was in Jacksonville, Fla., San Diego, or Norfolk, Va. Because when you are with other military people, the common thread that you share -- military life -- is always present, and it makes no difference if you are on the east coast, the west coast, or somewhere where you have had very little contact with military people. You are together. And you are family.

I left the meeting feeling refueled, like coming back from a family reunion or visiting my hometown. I touched base with the world that I know, the world in which I have grown up. But better than that, now that I have found this group of military friends, I know that they will always be there.

Every military person, retired or not, and no matter where they live, needs to be in contact with their larger military family. 

Organizations such as MOAA, as well as many others, provide exactly
that: a common bond, a shared mission, a friendly face.