When my husband's unit rolled into Iraq as part of the invasion force, many of the Humvees were equipped with a pigeon. While the military also had sophisticated equipment that could detect a chemical attack, the pigeon was there as a no-tech, backup detection system. It was the desert version of a canary in a coal mine.

Back on the home front, the pigeons are children. Children react to the stresses of a wartime deployment just like anyone else who gets left behind -- and they're not as good at hiding it.

The rest of us -- friends, family, neighbors, teachers, guidance counselors, day care providers, coaches, and clergy -- we need to learn how to spot trouble. And when we spot it, we need to know what to do about it. Sometimes they need serious help. Sometimes they just need a hug.

In Mrs. Joas' fourth grade classroom, she noticed that a little girl, who never hugged her in her life, had begun clinging to her. Mrs. Joas hugged her back and looked down at the top of her unbrushed head, and she thought to herself, “She's being neglected at home.”

It turned out the little girl's father was deployed. Like the adults who are left behind, the behavior of most children will change in some way when the deployment first begins.

They may react by trying to become Super Child and lose themselves in schoolwork or books.

Or just the opposite: They may not want to go to school at all. They may become more irritable and harder to soothe. They may seem angry all the time and pick fights. They may suffer from insomnia, complain they have a stomachache, or demand more attention. They may have difficulty concentrating, obsess about scary things, become either clingy or withdrawn and sad. They may cry a lot.

And then within about six weeks, most will find a way to cope.

But if the depression, crying, or acting out continues without letup for longer than six weeks, if the pigeons start keeling over in the desert, alarms should start to go off.

If children hurt themselves or others, the alarms should ring even louder.
Same if they stop bathing or brushing their hair, or start to look like they dressed in the dark...if they rapidly gain or lose a noticeable amount of weight...or if they develop a drug or alcohol problem.

When Mrs. Joas saw a child struggling with a deployment, she knew that whomever that child was living with was most likely struggling, too. Mrs. Joas checked around. The clingy girl with the unbrushed hair had three brothers at home, all of them competing for the attention of an overwhelmed mother who was dealing with the deployment by partying hard. There were whispers that the mother was sleeping around.

So Mrs. Joas bought hair clips. She made time for hair fixing before class. And whenever that little girl wanted a hug, Mrs. Joas would hold her for as long as she hung on.

Sometimes, though, a child with an overwhelmed home front parent needs more than just a hug. Sometimes they're in danger.

According to the head of the social work department on Fort Bragg, N.C., child maltreatment cases usually involve spouses who are isolated, spouses whose coping skills have let them down. Their normal capacity to patiently nurture a child is gone. Or they're depressed -- for someone who can hardly get out of bed, taking proper care of a child can become impossible.

That describes the exact situation some homefront parents find themselves in during a deployment. Homefront life can be isolated, physically grueling, and emotionally draining. Deployment is one of the toughest challenges many of us will face. When the rest of us spot trouble, we can help. But we don't have to wait for trouble to appear.

Friends, family members, and neighbors can help by giving the parent a break. Make your offers of help specific -- invite them to dinner, offer to mow the lawn, or arrange to watch the kids for an evening.

Educators and day care providers can turn to the Military Child Education Coalition, www.militarychild.org, to learn how to identify children facing a deployment and help them get through it. Tell the parent about available resources. If there's a military installation nearby, don't assume that they're aware of the services available there, either. Tell them about it.

Additionally, Militaryonesource and Military.com’s Spouse Network offer resources and tips to help you navigate through your children’s deployment-related depression.

Churches and clubs can develop support groups and social events, especially around holidays when a deployed family member's absence is a bit harder to handle.

The National Military Family Association, www.nmfa.org, offers Operation Purple camps for children with a deployed parent. Salute Our Services runs a mentor program for parents going through a deployment for the first time, at www.saluteourservices.org. The USO maintains a list of resources on the "Family and Friends" page of its website, www.uso.org.

If you know a military child going through a deployment, keep an eye on them. Even pigeons that are doing fine need some backup now and then, even if it's just a hug.