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Women Don't Need a Middle Man
Sarah Smiley | September 15, 2008

Before I share my thoughts with you about Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and her role as John McCain's running mate, I need to tell you how Dustin and I once made an offer on a house. Dustin was house-hunting in another city while I was back in Florida with the children. He sent me digital pictures of the house he selected, and then, before getting on a plane to come back home, he submitted an initial offer to the real estate agent.

"This will take a few days," he told me before getting on the plane. "But I've made an offer, and now we will go back and forth with the seller until we come to an agreement on the price and terms."

Dustin is the kind of person who will negotiate right down to the last dollar, and he isn't afraid to play games. ("Act like you don't love this house and we will get a better deal.") I believe that the world would be a much happier place if car dealerships put the actual price of the car on the window sticker and houses were listed at the dollar figure that the seller needed to get.

But Dustin is the designated house- and car-buyer in our family (he has even strongly urged that I not go to the car dealerships with him anymore), so I usually keep my mouth shut. What Dustin hadn't accounted for this time, however, was that the seller of the house he had just made an offer on was a single woman. As soon as Dustin had boarded the plane, our Realtor™ called with the seller's counter-offer. She wanted X-amount of dollars. Period.

"Tell her we can only pay X-amount," I said. "Period."

Twenty-minutes later, I had put a contract on the house.

When Dustin got off the plane that night, he said, "I really hope we get the house. It's perfect."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, waving my hand. "I already put a contract on it."

"But what about the negotiations? Did you make counter-offers in specific increments?"

"I didn't make any counter-offers," I said, ripping his frugal heart into pieces. "I found out what the seller wanted to get, and I told her what we could pay, and then we met in the middle."

Two women had condensed what would have dragged out over several days and ended with the same result into a 20-minute transaction.

Whoever thought men are better at getting things done and getting things right must have been...well, they must have been men.

So, the news about Sarah Palin came while I was unpacking moving boxes and drilling holes in the wall to install a towel bar. I have three young children. Because my husband is in the military and currently living away from us while he finishes his tour of duty in Pensacola, Fla., I am their sole parent under this roof. There I was setting up our house — a task which occasionally required wielding a power drill and biting nails between my teeth — and trying to continue my career as seamlessly as possible, all while feeding the children, folding their laundry and getting them ready for school, when out of the periphery I heard news commentators arguing about whether or not Palin is trying to be a man. They wanted to know, “Can she handle the responsibility?” “What about her children?” “How can she be a mother and a vice president at the same time”?

I'm sure glad no one asks these same questions about military wives, single mothers, or anyone else who doesn't stay home and bake cookies.

People don't ask if my husband can be a suitable father and servicemember at the same time. (And actually, in today's world, when fathers are expected to be just as involved in their children's lives as are the mothers, perhaps maybe they should ask that question.) No one asks whether or not the the single mother who works full-time should stay at home instead. No one asks the female CEO if she makes enough time for her children.

Regardless of your political preferences, the issues that Sarah Palin's candidacy has brought to the table are shocking and disheartening. We all know that behind every great man there is an even better woman, and sometimes she is laughing. So just as I had cut out the middle man (er, husband) in the home-buying process with successful results, perhaps a woman in the White House may actually get something done...and raise the children, drill holes, make dinner, and help her husband find his keys all at the same time.

Next week: Sarah Palin, the action figure.

Sound Off...What do you think? Join the discussion.


Copyright 2009 Sarah Smiley. All opinions expressed in this article are the author's and do not necessarily reflect those of Military.com.

 
About Sarah Smiley

Navy wife Sarah Smiley is a syndicated newspaper columnist and the author of Going Overboard: The Misadventures of a Military Wife (Peguin/NAL 2005). She has been featured in the New York Times and Newsweek, and on Nightline, The Early Show, CNN, Fox News and other local and national news outlets. Her liferights were optioned by Kelsey Grammer's company, Grammnet, and Paramount Television to be made into a half-hour sitcom. Visit www.SarahSmiley.com for more details.