I've seen the light -- I believe in Vacation Bible School.

I didn't used to believe in it, and I had company. I've heard that some commanding officers on some bases call Vacation Bible School, or VBS, a "nice-to-have," not a "must-have."

I would have agreed with them until I volunteered to help out on the kitchen staff for VBS this year. By chance, I'm the only Anglo in a kitchen full of Filipino Navy wives, so in between running out plates of spaghetti and tater tots, wiping down tables, and mopping up juice, I've been learning about the culture and customs of the Philippines.

Elsie, our kitchen staff leader, told me while she was back home visiting in the Philippines this summer, she dropped in to see an old friend from elementary school. She couldn't stay long, but she promised to drop by again later in the day. When Elsie went back, twenty-five other friends from elementary school were there waiting for her, and they'd all brought food. It had been a few decades since any of these women were in elementary school, but they jumped at the opportunity to get together, have a great meal, and renew old friendships.

That kind of attitude gives the women in that community a real advantage. The same is true in the military community. Social gatherings may seem like a fun, frivolous "nice-to-have." But they're not. They're a "must-have." In fact, in our high-stakes military world, social networks can make the difference between mission success and mission failure not just on the homefront, but on the frontlines, too.

Here's why. Ask yourself: If you're a military spouse, and your servicemember is gone on deployment or TAD, who are you going to call when...

• the car breaks down and you need a ride to work or the commissary?
  
• you have to rush one child to the ER and you need someone to watch the other kids?
  
• there's water gushing from behind the washer and you don't know how to stop it?
  
• the one you love is deployed to a dangerous part of the world and you haven't heard from him or her in a week and the constant worry is really starting to get to you?

Homefront challenges such as these can affect a military mission hundreds or thousands of miles away. Because if a military family doesn't have a network of support, that family is going to struggle. If a family is struggling, their deployed servicemember is going to know about it -- with e-mails and phone service, there's no way to hide it anymore. And if servicemembers worry about their families back home, they're not focused on the job -- whether that's guarding a convoy, providing close air support, or plotting a ship's course. In this way, a family's readiness can make the difference between mission success or mission failure.

According to an Army survey, worrying about the family back home is the number one stress on deployed troops, even more than combat. Since half of today's servicemembers have families, there is no military readiness without family readiness.

Official services such as militaryonesource.com can help families with these kinds of challenges. But the safety net of official services has holes. Each and every one of us on the homefront has got to have a personal network of support to fill the gaps. We need people we can call on to be there for us. But at the critical moment when we need a network like that, we can't just pop over to the commissary and buy it.

We have to build it ahead of time. Some of us have the personality and social skills and foresight to build a support network on our own. But most of us need help.

That's where gatherings like VBS come in. Not only are the hundreds of kids at our VBS being fed and entertained and learning important values while their parents get a free break. In addition, the volunteers, adults and teenagers, learn how good it feels to help others -- a habit that comes in handy during deployments. We're making new friends and deepening old friendships. We're making connections. We're building networks of support.

So I believe in VBS, as well as the gatherings of all faith groups.
I also believe in our base's youth sports program.
I believe in mommy's-day-out programs.
I believe in play groups.
I believe in service clubs and hobby clubs.
I believe in group tours and outings.

It's up to our community's commanding officers to fund the programs that they can and make the others a priority. Luckily, most of our leaders understand that while such activities may look like fun and frivolous "nice-to-haves," underneath it all, they are "must-haves" with a deadly serious purpose -- to keep our military community strong enough to get through the tough mission ahead.

Commands that don't get it must be educated in no uncertain terms.

If you need more information about programs for military families, visit Military.com's Spouse Network.