Me: “Are some plants like roommates -- they just don’t get along? Which plants
can share the same pot and which ones should live down the hall from each other?”

Houseplant Sue: “Very much so! Different plants have different living requirements. Always check the tag that comes with a plant and make sure you can meet its growing needs. While the dish gardens sold in many grocery stores and florists are very attractive, it’s actually better for the plants to grow them each in their own pot. This gives them the proper room to grow and they won’t have to compete for nutrients.”

Me: “Can plants get depressed?”

Houseplant Sue: “Well, not in the sense that they actually feel sadness or despair of course, but yes, plants can get ill. If not given the right conditions -- not enough light, poor soil, etc. -- houseplants will become sluggish and limp, putting out poor growth or none at all. Once those conditions are corrected, the plant will usually rebound.”

Me: “My plants tend to die a slow death from lack of care, such as watering. If there was a Plant Protective Services, would you report me?”

Houseplant Sue: “Goodness no! What I’d do is recommend some houseplants that can take a fair bit of neglect, such as cast iron plant and mother-in-law’s tongue, and direct you to the many cacti and succulents available, all which actually prefer not to be watered much. However, if you don’t have the time to do even minimal amounts of watering and care, I’d recommend something in silk.”

Me: “Mother-in-law’s tongue?!”

Me: “If you had to compare house plants to dogs, (bet you haven’t been
asked that before) which plant would be most like a pedigree poodle and which one would you liken to a mutt?”

Houseplant Sue: “Great question. The poodle would definitely be the calathea.
These relatives of the prayer plant are absolutely beautiful but extremely hard to keep happy. They are very fussy about humidity levels and heat requirements, and most homes simply can’t provide what they need. The mutt would be the pothos. These are the bright green vining plants found in malls, offices and public spaces everywhere. Their glossy, variegated leaves are very attractive and they will grow happily almost anywhere, even in an office that only gets florescent light.”

What have I learned from all this? I’m late for my community service at the greenhouse.