Her Marine was hit by an IED in Iraq.

As SGT. Sam Nichols of Kilo Battery 3/12 was medevaced to Germany, his wife Erin flew to be by his side, and was just grateful he was still alive. But when she got there, the doctors asked her to sign a "Do Not Resuscitate" form. A neurologist told Erin that Sam's brain was so damaged that there wasn't much chance he'd recover.

That was in July. Sam was in a coma for the first two months of his new life with traumatic brain injury, or TBI.

Today, with Christmas approaching, Sam is still hooked up to a feeding tube, a catheter, and a temporary colostomy bag. But he's awake and doing physical and occupational therapy six days a week. He can't speak but when Erin asks him a question, he can understand and raises one finger for "yes" and two for "no." She works with him on his alphabet board. She reads "Harry Potter" and the Bible to him. When she asks him if she should keep reading, he lets her know he doesn't want her to stop.

These are the successful milestones of Erin's new full-time job -- caring for Sam. "I'm there every day, loving him and being his voice until he finds his," she writes in an e-mail.

They met in high school. They've been married four years. According to her father, "Erin doesn't sit idly by and let the nurses and therapists care for Sam. I would say she is probably the biggest reason Sam has improved as much as he has. At this point, Sam can't really communicate any problems he is having, but Erin is so in sync with him that she knows what questions to ask him. She determined that he is having bad dreams about the IED attack in Iraq, and she just recently determined that he was having migraine headaches and is working with the hospital staff to take care of that issue."

"He knows he is loved," Erin writes, "and has every reason to fight. We've spent half of our marriage apart due to three deployments and lots of training. Even if I drive him crazy sometimes, I can tell he's happy I'm there. I'm happy to be with him."

Erin carries around a Bible with a little card in the front flap that says being a military spouse is the toughest job in the military. The day that IED hit Sam's convoy, her job got tougher. But she worries that the really tough part "is going to start when Sam is able to express himself. The emotional impact on him is what I have [feared] for months."

Recently, she left the VA hospital in Palo Alto, Calif., and drove two and a half hours north to spend the day with her family. It was her 24th birthday. It was also her first day off in five months.

How does Erin keep plugging away at this job? "I had four years of being a Marine Corps wife to toughen me up for my new gig," she writes.

And she also has a bagel. "In my daily routine I take care of myself first. Every morning I go to Peet's Coffee and then walk to the bakery around the corner to get my bagel. Even though it only takes about half an hour, it gets me ready for the day."

You can't take care of others if you don't care of yourself. Because Erin gives herself the gift of self-care, she's better equipped to give Sam the gift of her love. I asked her what sort of gift the rest of us might offer, something to lighten the load on those who care for, or worry about, a veteran with TBI. Pray, she suggested. Give home-cooked food, or restaurant and coffee shop gift cards. And don't add any stress to the caregiver's life.

"My biggest fault is not wanting to ask for help," Erin admits. "Not because I don't want to impose, but because I want to do it all by myself. I would tell a wife in my situation to accept help where you can get it and be thankful that people care enough to offer."

We can also donate to charitable organizations like the ones that helped Erin and Sam: Fisher House, the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund, and Soldier's Angels. Thanks to these charities, Sam's family has been able to make more than a dozen roundtrip, cross-country flights to visit him, and Erin receives free housing 50 yards away from him.

And keep pressure on our leaders to take proper care of TBI veterans and their families who have sacrificed so much for us. As I wrote in an earlier column, TBI is an injury that comes in many forms, from mild to severe, and can be hard to diagnose. While the Pentagon's official tally lists less than 5,000 wounded by TBI, at least 20,000 combat vets who didn't seem to be injured are now showing signs of TBI, according to a review of military records by USA Today.

To improve TBI diagnosis and treatment, Congress has introduced dozens of bills. Write or call your representative and senators and tell them you want action on bills like H.R. 2199: The Traumatic Brain Injury Health Enhancement and Long-Term Support Act, which has been passed by the House and now sits in the Senate. Or S. 1233: The Veterans Traumatic Brain Injury and Health Program Improvement Act, which is waiting for Senate debate. Or S. 225: Extending Traumatic Injury Protection Coverage, which would expand retroactive TBI insurance coverage to all veterans, not just Iraq and Afghanistan vets.

In this season of giving, our gifts of time, money, and advocacy can make the job of all TBI families a little easier. And every little bit helps, because it's the little things that get you through the day. As Erin puts it, "The best part of my day is when Sam smiles his crooked smile when I walk in the door. Sometimes I leave the room just so I can come back in and see him smile."

(For more on Sam and Erin’s journey and a helpful list of TBI resource links, visit http://www.prayingforsam.com.)