The best gift I ever received arrived on Christmas morning: an e-mail photo of my husband and sister's chance encounter in Iraq. That photo turned my family's somber holiday into a joyful one. I learned that year what it meant to have Christmas in your heart, even when it is breaking.    

Christmas is about family and fellowship. Military families truly appreciate how precious it is to be together over the holidays. It is the greatest gift of all.

This holiday season marks our fourth year in Iraq and fifth in Afghanistan. While Americans are polarized over politics and the war, the commitment of our servicemembers and their families is unwavering. More than 160,000 U.S. troops currently serve in Iraq and Afghanistan. Repeat deployments have become routine and many are serving extended 15-month tours of duty.

Last week a friend told me her husband would spend his second consecutive Christmas in Iraq. All I could do was think of her three boys. Two Christmases with dad in combat is a lot to ask of a child.

Her e-mail continued: "He'll miss two anniversaries, too. But he'll be back for my 40th birthday!!!" Her sense of humor and positive outlook during a difficult time touched me. I thought how lucky her family is to have her. I find myself saying that a lot about our brave military wives these days. Yes, brave. Many of us have discovered you don't have to be on a battlefield to display courage. 

The reality is, many of our servicemembers have spent two, three, even four Christmases in Iraq and Afghanistan. I mentioned that in a speech I gave a few days ago. Before I gave my remarks, I noticed a young woman with a warm smile and wavy brown hair in the audience. 

That night at dinner, I sat across from the wavy brown-haired woman with the pleasant disposition and learned her husband was killed in Iraq last year. My heart sank. Her son is now 18-months-old. My heart sank further. What will a lifetime of Christmases be like for them?    

We've lost more than 4,000 of our men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan. My husband’s grandmother told me that every time she hears on the news of a service member’s death, a piece of her dies with them. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

When I feel discouraged over the war, I think of a friend serving in Iraq.  
 "I think the greatest thing that we bring to the Iraqis is our hope," she once told me.

This Christmas, let's pray for Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men and Hope for us All.