Being in a relationship is hard work. And whether you’re military or civilian, romantic bliss can be hard to come by. Sometimes no matter how much effort we put into a relationship, ultimately it just does not work.

Enter the painful break up. Although, getting away from a stressful situation can be a relief, a break up still comes with its own kind of stress. Here are some suggestions of how to cope:

1. Accept It:  You still have to accept the fact that the person you spent nearly every day with for a period of time is like a stranger in many ways now. It is normal to thumb through old albums, read cards, or even check up on his or her social networking profile on, for instance, Paltalk or Facebook -- but don’t torture yourself. It is normal to be curious but at the same time you must allow yourself some mental and emotional distance from your ex as time goes on.
2. Love Takes Time to Heal:  It may be a cheesy line from an old song but it is also is a very true statement. So often we are told to get back out there and date yet we don’t feel it because we may not be ready. Allow yourself to grieve. It may take you a couple of weeks or months. There is no rush.
3. Be With Your Friends:  Spending time with your friends is a great distraction and very cathartic. Your friends know you best and are concerned with your well being. Feel free to tell them how you are dealing with everything. Most of your friends, if not all, have dealt with a break up. Their experiences will help... 
4. Join a Club:  If you live away from your friends, join a club, charity, or organization of your choice. It will allow you to be involved in something you are interested in plus introduce you to new people.
5. Rose-Colored Perspectives:  We tend to look back on our previous relationship with rose-colored glasses, thinking, “It wasn’t that bad. We had so many great times.”  Loneliness can make you question things, even if the breakup was your choice. Don’t forget the bad things -- the things that caused the break up in the first place.
6. Use the Lessons Learned:  The period right after a break up is a great time to reflect. Ask yourself what aspects of the relationship you loved and loathed.  Keep a mental check list so that when you do reenter the dating world, you will be armed with the knowledge of what you do and do not want.

This will be a difficult period in your life, no doubt.  But every relationship was not meant to be.  Keep the faith.  You will find love again.  Think of your breakup as simply the next step in finding the right person for you.