Remember the movie "Jerry Maguire" and the phrase “Show me the money”? When people tell me about a goal they have, I ask them to show me their calendar.

A few months ago, a transitioning servicemember told me he wanted to be a professional speaker. He felt he could be great motivator, and asked my advice on how to get started in the business. I offered a number of ideas and asked him to update me on his progress after a few months. When he e-mailed me again, he said that his new career just wasn’t taking off. He only used a couple of my suggestions, and didn’t really know why he didn’t move on the rest.

I had to wonder if the guy says he wants to do something, but does little to actually progress toward the goal, why would I want to help him? Why would anyone want to help him if he won’t even help himself?

This behavior is not limited to transitioning servicemembers, or people who want to become speakers. I see it often. A manager says he wants to be a better leader. He takes notes during my presentation and tells me how he is going to do things differently. When I visit again, months later, nothing has changed. I ask to see his calendar, to find out when he scheduled new activities. But, they aren’t on the calendar. There’s no pre-determined date when the improvements will start. This is the clearest indication anyone can give me that they’re not really interested in making a change.

I invited the aspiring speaker to come to a presentation some time. I told him I would introduce him to some folks, and help him process everything he heard. He has never taken me up on the offer. Show me the calendar! People say they want to lose weight, but they don’t put “Go to the gym” on the calendar. Others say they want to spend more time with family but, somehow, something “more important” always comes up.

Well, not at my house, and not if I can help it. There is a standing order at my house with the kids: the minute you hear you may have a field trip at school, I want to know about it. At least, give me a heads-up. My deal with them is, “If you want me to go on the trip and I don’t already have work on the calendar for that day, I will commit to you. Your trip becomes my priority.” My kids’ trip goes on the calendar, and I go on the field trip because I put it on my calendar.

If you want to gain control of your job and your life, then gain control of your calendar. Do you want to do something new, different, or better? Put it on your calendar. I know this sounds simplistic, but it really makes a difference. I would explain just how your brain accepts the written word and supports you in accomplishing scheduled tasks, but I'm heading out for a trip with the kids to the pumpkin farm. How about you?