I learned early last week that Cindy Sheehan would be visiting with her entourage near my home at Fort Benning, Georgia. As word spread I was contacted by local media for comments about the visit.  I was also contacted by several acquaintances of mine who are part of the Gathering of Eagles.  They invited me to be a part of a protest opposite Cindy Sheehan's. 

The invitation was tempting as there was a time shortly after Cindy Sheehan began her protests that I wished I could meet her face-to-face.  Our sons had died two months apart in Baghdad.  I was appalled along with others by her behavior as time went on.  When she camped in Crawford and planted white crosses for each of the fallen, my husband called the sheriff's department there and asked them to remove the cross with our son's name on it.  Dave and I were still in our initial months of grief and pain.  We were angered by Cindy Sheehan's actions.  She did not speak for us.
 
Since that time, in an attempt to control my negative emotions, I've worked diligently with my husband to seek positive ways to honor Patrick, his comrades, and our military and their families.  Over the past year my message has been different than Cindy Sheehan's.  Dave and I have spoken in support of President Bush.  I constantly call and send e-mails to Senator Saxby Chambliss' office.  Because of my views, a few Gold Star moms requested that I remove their names from my e-mail.  Out of respect, I did so.  I have accepted that with war, there are two sides, and families do eventually choose where they stand.
 
In my interviews with local media, I responded that Cindy Sheehan still doesn't speak for my family and many other Gold and Blue Star families that I know and love.  I don't respect her for actions such as visiting and hugging Hugo Chavez, saying our troops are terrorists, or calling for the impeachment of President Bush.  But I do respect that she is a parent who has suffered the death of a child - a suffering of pain, grief, and emptiness that leads individuals to make choices for coping that fit their needs.  Because of this and because I did not want to chance bringing my own anger back again, I chose not to  protest against Cindy Sheehan, although my views were shared through local media.
 
I learned, following the protest, that Cindy Sheehan did not obtain a permit therefore she was allowed only fifteen people in her group.  I also learned from one of my media acquaintances who interviewed Cindy Sheehan that she is seriously convinced that it is because of her actions that the majority of the nation now wants the troops pulled from Iraq.  My response was that I didn't believe it was all her doing, but I did give tremendous credit to the mainstream media for giving her huge amounts of air time while not giving Gold Star parents with opposite views a dot in comparison. I also gave credit to the one-sided negative media, negative egotistical politicians like Reid and Pelosi, and commentators whose headlines read "Bush's un-winnable war grinds on" for polarizing our nation instead of bringing us together to show insurgents and terrorists that we won't stand for their atrocities.
 
I was confused when I learned the name of Cindy Sheehan's newest march across the nation:  "Journey for Humanity."  Which part of humanity?  What are her goals for this part of humanity?  Apparently her concern is not for our nation's humanity or the Iraqi people since her call to pull the troops from Iraq and to impeach President Bush is a message that helps embolden the terrorists and insurgents against troops.  How can one on a "Journey for Humanity" live with knowing that Iraq will become, as a Sergeant Major friend currently in Iraq for the second time told me, a slaughterhouse for innocent Iraqis and a control center for Al-Qaeda if our troops are pulled before they complete their mission.
 
Recently one of Patrick's friends, also in Iraq for his second tour wrote, "As far as how things are going here, I would have to say pretty well.  The Iraqi army and police are more or less doing their jobs.  Some actually really care and do try to make a difference. Some want to have a nice safe country and they fight for it.  I feel that they have made a lot of progress.  There are some that we know are corrupt, but we can't do much about them without hard evidence.  I feel that if a timeline is given to pull out, then we're telling the terrorists they win after this date.  I feel that if we leave without winning it will mean that Pat and everyone else died for no reason."
 
No, I don't agree with Cindy Sheehan. I don't understand her thinking when she stands at the gates of Fort Benning and refers to its Western Hemisphere Institute for Security as a "cancer on our country." I don't understand which part of humanity it is that she's on a journey for.  I just know she's a mom whose son died a hero, a mom whose heart is tortured, a mom whose belief system is opposite mine.  A mom whose son wore proudly the uniform of his nation that I feel sure, as a young man who once wanted to be a priest, was concerned enough for humanity  to want the Iraqi people to succeed and live in peace.  A peace that I, too, want desperately, a peace that in this earthly life is often created through persistence with great struggle and sacrifice. It's a struggle we can't afford to lose for the sake of our nation's future - a struggle that divides Cindy Sheehan and me.