Let’s start with the day of the interview. Chances are that you might feel nervous about doing something you either have never done or haven’t done in a long time. To put your nerves into perspective, let’s think about why you are nervous. Some of you have seen real combat and have been in life-threatening situations – now there’s something to be nervous about. And, even if you haven’t been in those situations, why would you be nervous about sitting in front of someone and talking? What’s the big deal here?

Would it surprise you to know that everybody gets nervous in the interview. In fact, it’s OK to be nervous. If you think about it, it’s a bit like going on a date and meeting someone for the first time. There are always those fluttering feelings in your stomach that we refer to as “butterflies.” That’s just anticipation about the unknown. This isn’t the first time you’ve experienced those feelings – and it probably won’t be the last.

A Change in Thinking

The first, and most important step to changing the way that you are thinking and feeling is for you to put the interview into perspective. This is not an appointment with the dentist who may inflict pain. It is a conversation with another person. What is the worst thing that can happen as a result of the interview? You won’t get the job, which may not have been the right job for you anyway.

Secondly, begin to think about you interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. Is there a good fit here? What looks good on paper may not be what it appears – for either party. It is your job to investigate whether this a good place for you, and whether you want to invest a significant part of your life here. When you are not checking them out and what they have to offer, you are appearing to be desperate – “Please, please, hire me.”

Calming Techniques

One of the best techniques to handle stress is through breathing. You may have learned techniques like this in Basic Training. Deliberate shallow breaths. Take air in through the nostrils and exhale, quietly, through the mouth. This is a technique that should be practiced as a relaxation technique before the interview. The body should be used to slowing down the breathing process and relaxing.

Relaxation techniques, yoga, and meditation classes, are recommended for anyone who has an extreme case of “interview fright.” The interview can cause panic attacks if the fear is strong enough. Pre-conditioning will do wonders for this type of anxiety.

Fear of Rejection

There are so many factors that affect whether or not you receive an offer: internal candidates, relatives promised jobs, a competitor who is a perfect match for the job, a lack of chemistry between yourself and the new boss, a mismatch in salary needs, etc.

Let it Go
Give yourself credit for getting an interview – only a small percentage of people get this far in the process. Give yourself credit for going out there and putting yourself on the line, even though it is painful for you. Give yourself permission to not get job offers. Believe that an offer will come through when it is the right offer – the right fit for the company and for you.