The problem with military movie endings like An Officer and a Gentleman is we never find out what happens to the swept-off-their-feet “Paulas” once they enter military marriage.

 

Finally, Hollywood gives us the rest of the story. Army Wives premieres Sunday, June 3 at 10 p.m. on Lifetime. The one-hour series is based on my book Army Wives: The Unwritten Code of Military Marriage (originally published in hardcover as Under the Sabers).  I hope you’ll tune in.

 

I’m sometimes asked in interviews what makes military wives different from other wives who move frequently to follow a husband’s job. For starters, the military is a lifestyle. It’s not just a spouse’s profession. Military wives live within a subculture that is in a constant state of readiness for war. They view death and the possibility of it differently, up close and personal, as young wives. 

 

My first year of marriage, I attended a wives’ coffee and was taken aback to find out all the wives knew death notifications were performed between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m.  If you’re worried about your husband, no news in the middle of the night is not necessarily good news.

 

As soon-to-be military brides, most young women don’t think of those things as they prepare for their wedding.

 

When I walked under the saber arch on my wedding day the saber bearer lowered his sword and swatted me (as is the custom) so hard (which is not the custom) I thought he had sliced me and my dress.

 “Welcome to the Army Mrs. ….!” I drowned him out with a yelp.

 

It was certainly a physical, but also a symbolic jolt. I soon discovered growing up in the military and writing professionally about the military were much different than being married to the military.  

 

I’ve learned a military marriage has three components. You, your spouse, and the military. In my book, I jokingly refer to the Army as the other woman.   

Many soldiers are seduced at a young age.

 

I have a yellowing photograph in my office of my husband as a 7-year old dressed in fatigues with his pants tucked in to a pair of green rain boots. He’s wearing a huge grin.

 

In the same frame I keep another photo taken three decades later. In this one, my husband is wearing a beret and ACU’s.

 

He’s wearing the same grin in that picture, too.  

 

Click on the video below to get your first look at "Army Wives" airing on Lifetime Television on  June 3.