It seemed like perfect theater four years ago:  "The Iraq Show."  Such a tidy plot to keep the western world entertained during the dull, post-holiday dark ages in the winter of 2003.  The American military had blitzkrieg'd across Iraq and taken the capital in 21 days.  And the embeds had been there to capture it all in real-time.  And what a climax, huh?  The images of Saddam's statue being pulled from its perch in Baghdad livened up homes across the planet.  And at that brief moment, as the world watched the city's denizens jump on the wrecked form and smack it with their sandals, all - even America's most strident TV critics (both foreign and domestic) - paused and nodded.

What a show, "The Iraq Show."  The ratings were off the page, and the ad dollars flowed.  The screens faded to black; the credits rolled (Best Boy - Paul Wolfowitz, Gaffer - Douglas Feith).  As the Halliburton trucks rolled to retrieve the production gear, it was time to turn the channel and surf the web for that perfect summer vacation destination.

But "The Iraq Show" wasn't over.  It had an epilogue, one that even those who drove their widescreen HD satellite systems past Channel 521 couldn't ignore.  And this epilogue went on and on.  The arc of the plot was completely lost, but the story just kept coming.

A lot of special effects, especially explosions.  A lot of killing.  No more smiles from the locals.  TV critics started wondering aloud what the point of the show was and when it might end.

The Network told viewers all was well:  "This is a good story," they said.  "And we're sticking with it.  All good television watchers will do the same."

In time "The Iraq Show" audience split into camps of those who really liked the show and those who really hated it.  But the ratings were good, or good enough, so the Network added another season, and then another.

Then some artsy-type - a PBS watcher, no doubt - did a little "research" and made a big deal out of the fact that the show's premise (bad guy about to attack America) was flawed.  The Network ignored the criticism, saying, "It might not be the show we started to write, but it's still a good one."

Ratings started to go south.  Television watchers were growing weary.  They didn't want explosions; they wanted smiles again.  The Other Network saw the trend and made it's move.  "We have a new show," their executives said.  "It's about good things like building houses in New Orleans and saving polar bears."  A large portion of the audience said that was a show they'd want to watch.

But the Network countered by adding a new star to "The Iraq Show," a real hero.  "People of Iraq," the hero wrote in a letter to Iraqis during this season's Episode Two, "it would be great if you smiled more."

But The Other Network wasn't buying it.  "Although I admit I liked 'The Iraq Show' at the beginning," The Other Network's director of programming said, "it has turned into a bad show.  It needs to end by August of 2008."

"Artificial deadlines play into the hands of foreign markets," the Network's vice chief executive said.  "And I, for one, do not want to watch shows with subtitles."

So how long will 'The Iraq Show' go on?  In spite of ever-sagging ratings The Network remains sanguine on its future.  "Besides," The Network's chief executive said, "we've already beaten the odds in this business.  'The Iraq Show' lasted four years already."  He grew a wry smile as he added, "That's four years longer than 'Joey.'"

But one TV critic, who requested anonymity, suggested that the Network's chief should have learned from how his father ran The Network.  "Just look at the first version of 'The Iraq Show' that ran back in the early '90s," the critic said.  "That program was a smash.  Say what you will about The Network back then, his father knew when to end a show."