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Woman First, Military Wife Second
Victoria Parham | October 26, 2006

Remember when you first caught the eye of your soldier, how extremely attractive you were to him. He probrably opened the doors on dates, paid for the meals, treated you like a total queen, because you were his woman. Remember thinking to yourself, I could be married to this man the rest of my life. Think back to how you dressed, applied your makeup, chose your perfumes, you took time to invest in how you looked and felt.

Now fast-forward to today, reality has set-in. You now wear101 hats (military spouse, mom, FRG leader, group leader, soccer mom, girls scout leader, working mom, stay at home mom, Joey's mom, Mary's mom, etc..) do you see where I'm going with this? Somewhere along the way, the woman you once were got lost and now it's time to get her back. You see, before you were Mrs. or mom, you were simply whatever your name is and sometimes as military spouses we get so caught up in our military spouse lifestyles and mom roles that we loose our womanhood. What do I mean? You stopped doing the things that at one time made you the attractive, exciting, vivacious woman that you once were, the woman that caught the eye of the man you married.

A lesson I learned in my 18 years of being a military spouse is that I was a woman first and then a military spouse and as long as I kept the roles in perspective, my life as a woman, military wife, and mom was most fulfilling.

The life of a military spouse is anything but normal, like our active duty soldiers we are asked to do more in the course of a day than the average wife does all day (this is not an insult by any means), it's just a fact. Not only do we have our military spouse duties and responsibilities, we also oversee our family needs, the needs of other military families, oh yea, and our careers. The weight of these roles and responsibilities can contribute to you loosing the woman in you.   As a woman, there are a few things that you should do to keep yourself healthy and always feeling womanly. 

I'm going to share my top five with you, at the top of my list, take some time to pamper and care for yourself.  You take care of the needs of  others all day, everyday.  Now it's time to pamper and care for yourself.    

1. Hair care. Find yourself a really good hair salon, where you are comfortable and invest in getting the proper care for your hair. Over the years my schedule had become quite hectic, I no longer had the time to care for my hair like I once did and I started noticing lots of split ends, breakage, and thinning. I finally found a stylist and salon who has done wonder's for my hair, I feel georgous when I go out, my hair is bouncy, shiny and most importantly, I feel good about how my hair looks. If you've never been to a hair salon, your first visit might be a little arkward, but go any way, you might also pay a little more for your first hair visit especially if you need a new perm and your ends need trimming but look at this way, it's an investment in you and you're worth it. 

2. Skin care. All skin is not created the same, some have dry skin, some oily, some flaky and the list goes on. Proper skin care is important, hard water, certain lotions, makeup and perfumes can make the skin not smooth or unattractive. If this has happened to you, schedule a visit to a dermatoligist who can advise you on how to get your skin back to where it needs to be. 

3. Nail and Foot Care. A woman's hands say a lot about her, what do yours say? Keep your hands and feet looking healthy by visiting your local nail salon for a manicure and pedicure.

4. Dental care. Frequent visits to your family dentist will keep your smile looking like a million bucks.

5. Annual Exam. As a woman, proper care for your body is a MUST. Be sure to schedule a visit to your gynecologist every year for your annual exam. Visit sooner if you detect something unusual.  

Enjoy your life as a military wife and mom and remember to keep the woman inside of you alive and healthy. 

Until the next time!

Sound Off...What do you think? Join the discussion.

Copyright 2008 Victoria Parham. All opinions expressed in this article are the author's and do not necessarily reflect those of Military.com.

 
About Victoria Parham

Victoria M. Parham is a retired Army spouse, veteran, president and chief technology officer for VSSCyberOffice.com, a wholly virtual business startup consultancy and entrepreneurial training firm specializing in Portable Careers, Virtual Business Ownership and Virtual Assistant Training for military spouses and trailing corporate spouses.

Mrs. Parham currently serves as the (contracted) director of training and lead instructor for the Department of Defense "No Cost" Portable Careers Initiative: Virtual Business Owners Training Program. Military spouses can apply and/or learn more by visiting: http://www.vsscyberoffice.com/vbo.

Mrs. Parham is a sought after speaker and presenter. She has been featured, quoted, profiled and published in major media publications, radio and television. In 2005, Mrs. Parham was profiled in Inc. Magazine as one of 26 Most Fascinating Entrepreneurs We Love and honored in 2001 as a Top Forty Under 40 for the State of Alaska.

Learn more about Victoria by visiting her online podcast, blog and video sharing website:

Military Spouse Talk Radio Show Podcast - www.militaryspousetalkradio.com

Victoria Parham's Blog - www.victoriaparham.com

Military Spouse Channel - www.militaryspousechannel.com