I've been married to my now retired soldier 18-plus years going on 19 and I'm more in love with him today than when we first got married. Sounds gushy doesn't it? But it's the truth and I can’t deny it.

Marriage is a long-term commitment and journey to learning about the man or woman you've pledged to spend the rest of your life with. The journey of marriage is not always easy, there are trying times, there are tough times, and there are times when you cry. And let's face it, there are times when you scratch your head and wonder, what in the world have I done? But through it all, you wouldn't trade your spouse for the world, because you love them immensely.

One year, while stationed in Fort Carson, Colo., my husband's birthday was just a few days away and I couldn't think of a single thing to get him. After much thought, I came up with a brilliant idea: I called the local florist to have some yellow-stemmed roses with a special card from a secret admirer delivered to my husband’s workplace, and they were to sing a special birthday song to him. That afternoon I dressed up in a yellow full-length swing dress, cooked his favorite meal, and brought it to him for lunch at his job. His co-workers were floored, some a bit jealous, but at the end of the day everyone knew just how much I loved my husband.

So after being married for 10-plus years, what is the art to keeping the spark in your marriage? The truth is there is no one answer solution for every marriage because each marriage is different. But what I can share with you are some creative lessons I've learned in my own personal journey of marriage:

• Candlelight Dinners aren't just to be enjoyed at restaurants. Every few months, surprise your soldier with a specially prepared home-cooked meal by candlelight, just the two of you. Go all out with creating a really nice table setting, invest in a good candle (the PX/BX has some really nice Yankee Candles).
• Schedule a Weekend Getaway — Planning in advance doesn't always work, sometimes you have to be a person spontaneous. A weekend getaway to the mountains for rest and relaxation is a great idea for military couples and its something we don't get enough of, after working long hours and dealing with the everyday rat-race, you need a break from everyone and everything. Check with your base MWR for weekend getaway specials.
• Take in a Scenic Drive — If you enjoy the road like I do, then a nice scenic drive on the weekend is a great way to communicate with your spouse. During the drive, talk, listen, and laugh, enjoy each others’ company and take some time to stop along the way for photo-ops and brunch.
• Book a day at the Spa — Book a couples spa package (full day or a few hours), who said only the rich can be pampered? You work, you deserve to be pampered every once in a while, so treat you and your spouse to a day at the spa. Oh yeah, and while you're there, leave the mundane tasks and to-dos outside, this is you and your spouse’s time.
• Hand-Written Note Cards — Nothing says “honey I love you” like a personalized hand-written note card, be creative and let your spouse know just how much you really appreciate him/her.

As mentioned earlier, marriage is a long-term commitment between two people, it's not a one-sided relationship, you both have to work at keeping the spark in your marriage alive. A major part of keeping the spark alive is through communication, if you both can master the art of communicating in your marriage, you can overcome all the other hiccups along the way.

All the best to you and enjoy the journey.

Until the next time..