This month millions of students return back to school and parents everywhere feel either a sense of relief or a sudden surge of empty-nest syndrome. Either way, most parents I speak with feel like this is a time to relax a little, to let go of the reins and count on their community’s schools or teachers to help John or Jane succeed. To these parents, I tend to politely but aggressively ask, “Are you kidding me?”

Back-to-school should mean one and only one thing for parents: an opportunity to redouble their efforts for helping their students succeed in school and in life and an obligation to care for their student’s well-being, safety, and growth. Parents should leverage this busy time of year to help their students lay the groundwork for not only a successful school year but also a successful life.

I won’t say this will be an easy undertaking, just a necessary one. So here’s my top four tips to kick this year off with a bang and guarantee your student succeeds and grows throughout the year.

1. Set a schedule. The summer of sleeping is over and it’s going to take your student weeks to get back into the grind. Start this school year off right by making sure your child wakes and eats each morning at the same time, comes home at the same time, eats dinner with you at the same time and studies at the same time. While this might sound, um, “militaristic,” it’s the way to go. The ability to be consistent and manage time are two skills students simply cannot survive without in today’s educational system. Additionally, by ensuring your student is picked up or comes home at the same time everyday, you know where they are at and can ensure their safety. Don’t blow this one off — the time-management skills your student learns in school are carried into their careers.

2. Make dinner time debrief and decompress time. Let me start by stating adamantly, but with regard for how difficult it can be, that you must eat dinner with your child and family as much as possible. Several studies, including those at The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse have found over and over that children who routinely have dinner together as a family were less likely to experiment with illicit drugs, smoke tobacco, drink alcohol, engage in teen sex, get into physical altercations with peers, or have suicidal thoughts. All of this is attributed to the simple fact that students and parents are engaged in dialogue about what’s happening in school and in life. Use dinner time strategically to have fun and talk about your child’s classes, teachers, friends, values, fears and ambitions and you’ll create a closer relationship with them and prepare them to make better choices in the future. But what’s for dinner? That leads to my third point.

3. Be a “soup Nazi.” Remember the famed Seinfeld episode where Jerry meets the “soup Nazi,” the man who proclaims, “No soup for you!”? Well, I’m not asking you to tell your student to avoid soup, but I am advising you to dictate what they do and do not eat. If you don’t, who will? The truth is that a frightening and increasing number of today’s youth are overweight or obese. Some say it’s higher than 20 percent. You are the only person in the world who can effectively monitor, manage, and motivate your child’s eating patterns or exercise patterns. If your child is overweight or out of shape, I have tough news for you: it is your fault. Period. As a parent you must take accountability and ensure that your student is eating healthy at school and at home, and that they are exercising regularly. This is life and death stuff. And it affects their academic performance as well: students who are overweight or unhealthy perform worse in school.

4. Study with you child. Speed questions: what is your student studying this week? How about next week? When is their next exam? What’s their favorite class? Where are they struggling? Which teacher do they hate? If you don’t know the answers to these questions, then you don’t know you’re child’s academic life and you can be equally unsure about their academic future. Studies consistently show that parents who study with their students, even just occasionally, have closer relationships with their children and their children do better in school.

5. Become the choice teacher. Ultimately, you are the greatest teacher, for better or worse, in your child’s life. Use that role purposefully and passionately to teach your child how to make choices that will keep them safe, strong, healthy, and growing. Leverage every opportunity you have to help them understand the power and consequences of their choices and they’ll forever be grateful and successful. Remember that, for the most part, students only make choices that they have been taught to make. What choices are you teaching and role modeling for them?

This time of year is a fantastic opportunity to begin anew and set a new standard for how you engage your child and how your child engages his or her academics and life. I know this article is a little direct, but back-to-school means back-to-work for parents hoping to set their child up for lifelong success.