I'm fairly certain that John Holley didn't care either.

Neither of us had counted on turning our meeting into a tear-fest. We had planned to shake hands, drink a little coffee, and catch up on the progress toward what I've come to think of as ‘Matthew's Law.' We did some of that, but mostly we talked about our sons. We dragged out photos of Josh and Matt, swapped favorite stories about our sons, and we cried -- probably a lot more than middle aged men are supposed to cry.

As I mentioned in the opening sentences of this column, the deaths of Matthew Holley and Joshua Edwards did not have much in common. Their lives, by contrast, were similar enough to give me chills. Matt was a three-time AAU national karate champion, and Josh had a wall full of medals for Kung Fu. They were both gifted amateur artists. They listened to the same music. They watched the same Japanese anime cartoons. Matthew was in the Army. Joshua was Junior Army ROTC, and looking forward to enlisting after high school. And when John and I compared photos, we discovered that our sons looked enough alike to be brothers.

It was this last bit, I think, that caused me to abandon all pretense of courage and break down into tears. Because Matt and Josh could have been brothers. I could see myself sitting in John Holley's chair on the opposite side of that coffee shop table. For a few seconds, I could feel the pain of his loss as keenly as I feel the loss of Joshua. And my heart was broken all over again.

This nation can never repay the debt that it owes to John and Stacey Holley, or to the other American families struggling with the loss of their fallen warriors. But we can help these families face the unthinkable with a little more dignity. We can demonstrate our respect and our gratitude for their sacrifice by allowing them to welcome their loved ones home in a manner befitting heroes.

It will undoubtedly take more effort to transport our honored dead as heroes, and it will certainly cost more money than the existing commercial freight mechanism. But those expenses are insignificant compared to the price paid by our warriors and their families. And if the most powerful and prosperous nation on earth cannot be troubled to render this small honor to its defenders, then maybe we've forgotten what we were fighting for in the first place.

How do you feel about this issue? Let your public officials know how you feel!