Military guys usually don’t give interviews in which they bare their souls. They don’t do soul in public. They don’t bare all. Maybe nobody told Sgt. Bobby Walls that when he returned from his year-long tour in Iraq. Or maybe it shakes a man when soldiers he has served with are being investigated in connection with the shooting death of an Iraqi citizen.

Whatever his reason, this Pennsylvania National Guardsman was trying to get hold of the big picture when AP reporter Kimberly Hefling interviewed him. First, he told her about his work as a sniper and about how he never felt safe even in the chow line. 

Then he said the thing that has been getting to me all week. He said there are only two ways to fight the enemy: on their terms or your own — even when sticking to your own terms means risking the death of other Americans.

“If you fight them on their terms, you’re no better than them,” said Walls. “That’s the true dilemma of the soldier right now, to get his sanity and keep his morals, keep his integrity. And it’s hard. It’s a … minute-by-minute struggle … in Iraq.”

I’ve thought of Sgt. Walls’ minute-by-minute struggle at every mention of the Marines and Navy corpsman at Camp Pendleton charged with premeditated murder in the killing of an Iraqi man in Hamdaniya. I thought of losing your sanity and your morals when I read those stomach-churning accounts of the soldier who allegedly led a group of men to rape, murder and burn an Iraqi teenager and her family. I questioned what it really means to fight this thing on our own terms every time a military expert suggests that the high level of combat stress among U.S. troops may be causing more of them to break down under the strain.

Maybe I worry too much. We’ve sent thousands of troops to Iraq and Afghanistan to fight this war on terror. Only a few of them have been accused of committing any crime. It’s only the few Americans charged in the last month that has me wondering how much we can expect from our troops in Iraq. What is fair to them? What is fair to these Iraqi civilians?

On one hand, I remember enough of my military history to expect occupying troops to get squirrelly. From the Roman legions to our own Northern troops reconstructing the South, occupation does not bring out the best in people. The realist would expect more incidents like the ones that have taken place this month, not less.

On the other hand, I’ve read enough about war to understand that I never will understand what it’s like to actually be in war — to think that my number might be up just driving down the street or that a dog or a woman or a child might actually be concealing a bomb.  And I’m grateful for that — grateful to the members of our military who are willing to go for me. 

Prosecuting a servicemember for events that occur under the strain of wartime condition seems like the act of a pitiless nation. It is as if we are saying, “Thanks for your willingness to lay down your life for your country. But you screwed up here so it’s off to Leavenworth for you.”
 
But failing to prosecute criminal acts makes it look like rape and murder are fine by us — as long as it doesn’t happen to our people.
 
We expect our servicemembers to know the difference — to have the stamina to stand up to any number of deployments for any length of time. We expect them to fight Sgt. Walls’ minute-by-minute struggle for their integrity and win every time. I do hope for that. I hope and pray for that victory. But I don’t think it’s right or wise or fair to count on it.