An Officer and a Gentlemen/ or Bah Hum Beetle Bug!

Military.com|by Mollie Gross

The many attributes my husband possessed in just being a Marine made it very easy to fall for him. Honor, courage, commitment, and loyalty all sound fantastic in a husband and the future father of my 19 children. I recently read that people often look for characteristics in their mates that we may lack in ourselves. Who knew that because my husband had so many great qualities, I might fall short in those same areas?

I'm occasionally reminded in my daily life of how much more my husband's superb character outshines mine. Actually, when you're a comedienne, and being crass and ridiculous is your business, it's happens all the time. Last Christmas there was an incident that was a good example of this.

My husband and I go all out for Christmas. We take every advantage to get in the holiday mood. Jon bought my Volkswagen Beetle a reindeer kit with a bright red nose that attached to the grill and two antlers that went on the windows. He assured me it was totally "me," but he would never put that kit on his truck.

That was a little too much for a Marine. We met up for lunch and he helped me out by following me to the local grocery store to pick up an item or two that was too big for me to carry.

In California the parking lots can be a real thrill ride. This particular one I was following him through had no open spots.  Numerous cars were circling like sharks looking for one to open up.  An older woman was going the wrong way down a one way lane, coming right towards us as we turned down an isle. She obviously had no clue what was going on. She stopped at the corner of the isle (facing the wrong way) with her blinker on.

I then saw my husband do the most courteous thing for me when he passed by a newly open parking spot in order for me to slide in. What a great guy!

I quickly whipped my little "Beetle Reindeer" right in. I cut the car off along with the Bing Crosby that was blaring and hopped out. The poor confused lady was still just sitting on the wrong side of the road with her blinker on trying to go down our isle. I skipped in front of her and grabbed my buggy ready to do a little holiday shopping.

When my hubby finally made it into the store he asked if that older lady waiting on the corner got the spot he left open for her. WHOOPS!

I confessed I took it because I thought left it open for me. I didn't even consider that he was holding that spot for that disoriented lady. He was always doing kind things for strangers. He laughed and said, "Yes, well she was going the wrong way."

We split up to cover more ground. Ten minutes later, I spotted him at the meat section and he was speaking to a woman who had her back to me. I was about to approach when my hubby shot me a look and shooed me off. I approached slowly and heard the women going on to him, "….I just had to thank you for being so courteous young man! I knew you went past that parking space because I was waiting for it, but right after you went by some punk teenager blew past me in her Beetle and took my spot! That kid blasted her music and her car looked like it had devil horns! I just wanted to thank you for your thoughtfulness.  You give me hope for this generation. I saw that Marine Corps sticker and it said it all."

I had to agree with her on that. Humiliation washed over me. I wanted to shout in my defense, "Hey lady, you were going the wrong way! I did not steal anything!"

Jon gave her a parting hug and winked at me over her shoulder and mouthed, "I love you." As she walked off I told him I'd meet him out side. He laughed and asked why. I replied, "I don't want her to see you with me, after all your representing the Corps."

He laughed and walked over and gave me a big smooch. He told me he the lady was nuts and he knew she was going the wrong way. I ask if he was embarrassed of me. With that he hugged me and said, "I would never be able to tell funny jokes on stage, or be willing to be silly to make other people laugh. When you drive that Beetle reindeer down the street, people just light up and smile. Those are the things I admire in you."  We walked out hand in hand, knowing together with our individual strengths and weaknesses; we made a pretty good team.

Mollie Gross is a former Marine Spouse, author, professional standup comedienne, and public speaker. She travels to military bases performing her Military Wife Comedy Show. To see her tour schedule, buy a copy of her audio CD, book: Confessions of a Military Wife, or inquire about booking; please visit www.molliegross.com. For a daily dose of comedy, join her friends on Facebook:www.facebook.com/militarywifecomedy.

© Copyright 2011 Military.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.