Don't Tell Mom

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Don't Tell Mom

Lines of Fire | Andrew Carroll | October 25, 2005

Background information and commentary by Andrew Carroll: Earlier this year I began a 50-state book tour for BEHIND THE LINES, which will last into 2006. The purpose of the trip is not only to talk about the book, but to continue spreading the word about the Legacy Project’s larger mission of encouraging Americans to save their wartime correspondence. (Not a week goes by it seems that I don’t hear a story of someone throwing out their parents or grandparents’ letters and then later regretting it. I am also discovering that many troops and their families are deleting the e-mails being written during OEF and OIF.) During the early part of my trip, a man named Dale Clarke sent me a letter he wrote from Vietnam in 1968. Since last week’s LINES OF FIRE letter focused on the thoughts of troops heading into combat, I thought it would be appropriate this week to feature a letter that describes what it feels like to step into the maelstrom of battle. Unlike the letters sent home during World War I and II, Vietnam-era letters were not, for the most part, officially censored. (This was true as well of Korean War letters, although many troops censored themselves.) These letters tended to be significantly more candid and graphic than battle-related correspondences from the world wars. There is a timeless element about Clarke’s letter, however: the need to tell someone about the harrowing experiences he survived and the desire that the news not be shared with his mother. His letter, published here for the first time, is dated June 10, 1968, and it is edited for length but otherwise transcribed exactly as it was written.

Dear Dad,

I’m writing this letter dad knowing that what I’m going to tell you is between us two men, not as Father and Son but Man to Man….

We were airlifted out of Chu Lai on April Sunday 28. We didn’t know just where we were going but we figured we were just about ready for what was to come. We landed North of Hue about six mi out in the boonies and about four mi from the DMZ. The 196th was given this little area to cover and we were on our way. C Company was the first to make contact, but these were hardcore NVA not the scared VC. The NVA were dug in very well in this wooded area and they weren’t about to give an inch of ground to us sloppy Infantry GIs. All that day I stayed in a rain soaked fox hole while our Company pulled rear security for Charlie Company. Charlie Company got hit hard, losing quite a few men. We had to pull back and set up for the nite.

The next morning the Jets bombed and napalmed the wooded area, then our Company, Bravo, Charlie and Alpha surround the wooded area and started to move in. The NVA was throwing everything at us and vice versa it was a give and take battle all day long. At the crack of dusk we still hadn’t taken it so we had to pull back….

We had no sooner entered the wood line when we started to receive in-coming mortar fire. I can still remember the screams and the yelling for medic coming from everywhere. We knew the NVA were determined to make us pay for every inch of ground we took and we did. The fighting raged on from morning to dusk and we still hadn’t broke through the enemys lines. So once more we had to pull back. We had 30 men wounded and one wan killed that day. The Artillary once more pounded it all nite, then came the morning sun. Our moral was at its lowest and not one man wanted to go back in there. The Jets dropped 2,000 lb. bombs on the wooded area but we all figured they would all be there never the less. So once more the Companies got on line but this time we went all the way through without having to fire one shot. We had killed an estimated 300 NVA and by the time we left up North we had accounted for at least 800 NVA bodies. The Marines couldn’t believe it, but the Army Infantry had done what the Marines couldn’t do.

Dad, I was scared to death every day we went in there but I prayed like I never prayed before, I kept my head low but I fought my hardest because I knew is was either them or me and I damn well know its was not going to be me. I didn’t lose any close buddies up North like I did on Hill 431, but once again I can only thank God for my safe being today.

We have been back here near Chu Lai for about three weeks and as usual we were being harassed by sniper fire now and then, but the other day we were following Bravo Company up this hill when all hell broke lose…. The enemy started firing mortars at us as soon as we got up. The first round hit right on our platoon’s position. My closest buddy Torres was killed instantly as the shell hit right next to him. Two more of my buddies died in the medic arms. Ten other of my buddies had caught shrapnel but were only wounded slightly. I was in a bomb crater at the time. We called Artillary in on the enemies mortar position which soon knocked it out. Then the Company moved in on over the top and the hill was ours. Dad I don’t want this letter to sound like I’m trying to be a hero, because I’m scared to death of the first crack of a rifle. I just do my job as an RTO keeping radio contact at all times.

This has been two big battles where I have learned the hell of war. Our Company has lost some brave young men but we still get new guys in to replace them. I don’t want Mom to read this because she will probably think I am fighting all the time, which isn’t so. Both Battles happened in a Months time so you can see I don’t really see much, but like I said the snipers are always around and so far no one has been killed by them. Dad I wrote this hoping that this will some how help you to understand what is going on here, I don’t wasn’t you to worry because like you said, I have learned to keep my head low and trust in God to see me home safely. I cant think of anymore to say so I will close for now.

Your son,

Junior

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NEXT WEEK: Two special letters from the War on Terrorism in honor of Veterans Day.

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Copyright 2008 Lines of Fire. All opinions expressed in this article are the author's and do not necessarily reflect those of Military.com.

About Lines of Fire

Military.com is proud to announce LINES OF FIRE, a collaboration with the Legacy Project to feature a war letter (or e-mail) on this site each week for the next year. Since 1998, Americans have shared with the Legacy Project an estimated 75,000 letters from every conflict in U.S. history, including e-mails from Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom.

The Legacy Project is a national, all-volunteer effort that works to honor and remember American veterans by preserving their correspondences for posterity. "There are no greater experts on the subject of warfare than the men and women who have experienced it firsthand," says Legacy Project founder Andrew Carroll. He adds: "Our mission is to encourage veterans, active duty troops, and their families to save these irreplaceable letters and e-mails so that we can better understand the sacrifices they have made -- and continue to make -- for every one of us."

Andrew Carroll will personally select the letters for this special LINES OF FIRE series, some of which have been published in his national bestseller WAR LETTERS: Extraordinary Correspondence from American Wars or the recently-published BEHIND THE LINES: Powerful and Revealing American and Foreign War Letters -- And One Man's Search to Find Them. But Carroll will also provide letters and e-mails exclusively to Military.com that have never been published, and he will add "behind the scenes" commentary relating to each selection.

For more information about the Legacy Project's mission, please visit their website: www.warletters.com

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