"This is war and I'll give a news flash to everyone back in the states -- they're playing for keeps over here...."

Background information and commentary by Andrew Carroll: When newspapers and magazines around the country began reporting about the alleged atrocities in Haditha, many journalists wondered -- despite the fact that the investigation of what truly happened there is still under way -- if the incident would be “the My Lai massacre of the Iraq war.” This comparison prompted me to think of a letter written during the war in Vietnam by a specialist 4th class about My Lai. Because this is a very sensitive issue and, most important, as of this writing it is not clear what really happened at Haditha, allow me to emphasize a few points. First, by featuring this letter, neither I nor anyone at military.com is in any way suggesting that Haditha is, in fact, another My Lai-type incident or that the actions described in this letter are comparable with what happened at Haditha. Again, at this point, we simply do not know what transpired. Second, this letter should not be construed in any way as defending the intentional killing of civilians in wartime. What I do find compelling about the letter below is the sense of disconnect that Leahy writes about between the front lines and the home front. Whether it's World War II, Vietnam, or Iraq, those of us back in the States understand very little of what U.S. troops have to endure in combat and the split-second decisions they have to make under excruciating circumstances and the life and death consequences of these choices. The main reasons I started the Legacy Project were to honor those who have served and to help those of us who have not better understand the sacrifices military personnel have made in past conflicts and continue to make in Iraq and Afghanistan. These men and women are the greatest authorities we have on war, and even though every one of them has his or her own opinions on war-related matters, I believe that the more we listen to what they have said and written, the better educated we will all be in comprehending what war demands of those who have experienced it firsthand. (This letter was published, in its entirety, for the first time in WAR LETTERS.)

February 2, 1970

Dear Mom, Dad, and Grandma,

Enclosed are some pictures you may enjoy. Included is a picture from Life of a CA (combat assault). It is the best I have ever seen. It is from Life's article on the My Lai massacre….

In an operation of this size, there is a lot of confusion. Intelligence reports said the hill was heavily fortified and that only NVA, VC and their families live there. A report of that kind makes you trigger happy. There is a saying here, “better safe than dead.” Everyone is nervous when moving in. All it takes is one person firing in the air, and everyone assumes that there is contact and they are under fire. Any civilians nearby become expendable on the theory that you can not take a chance on their having concealed weapons or chicoms (grenades). Then, with everyone firing in all directions, people get carried away, like a mob. Everyone is doing it, but no one is leading it. All non-GI's become suspected enemy. By the time you find out if someone has a weapon or is a simple farmer, he could empty 30 rounds from an AK-47 in you.

Sure, as Life Magazine points out, no enemy fire was encountered and there were no wounded in action, but no one probably was sure of that until the next morning. By then it was too late. People who assume that the fire you hear is only friendly fire are the ones who make up our 40,000 dead in Nam. You must always act under the assumption that the fire you hear is enemy fire. When you find out to the contrary, it is often too late. Here on the center (B Battery Fire Base), when we get incoming mortars, sometimes they are not sure until the next morning whether it was our own mortar or not. And here there are only 4 mortar tubes to check. Out in the field, how are you supposed to find out if it is incoming rounds or a GI firing into the air? You cannot sit in the open for 10 minutes and check your platoons to find out. You act under the assumption that it is enemy.

I am not condoning My Lai. There is no doubt that a massacre took place. If you enrage and tease a lion, and then an innocent person comes along and pets the lion, the innocent person will be mauled. People who think that troops should always restrain themselves are simply asking too much of human nature. They sit in their carpeted homes and say, “Control yourselves, don't give in to your emotions.” They've never had a friend hit a bobby trap and shipped the pieces home in a rubber sack. Let them tell me what to write to a man's wife or parents. Control yourselves, your husband/son is dead. Or to his buddies. Control yourself, you friend who you slept with, ate with, and patrolled with, is dead; but don't feel any hatred…. Or when a man comes back from R&R and everyone is looking at the pictures he took and joking with him. He looks around and says, “Where is Monte?” The joking stops and there is silence. Finally someone says, “Monte died two weeks ago, a 105 booby trap.” Then everyone just sort of drifts away to let the returning man grieve alone…. This is not a soap opera. This happened in my platoon. People do not live happily every after and come back to life for tomorrow's episode. This is war and I'll give a news flash to everyone back in the states -- they're playing for keeps over here….

You cannot demand that an individual refuse to obey orders he feels are wrong and then turn around and allow laws that will send him to prison when he does. If someone had refused to obey orders, and My Lai had not become a national incident, that person would now be serving 5-10 in Leavenworth and nobody stateside would have said anything in his defense. Cowardice in the face of the enemy or some trash like that.

We have crisp weather here. It is warm during the day, but cools off rapidly at night. We see the starts almost every night. When there is no industry and almost no vehicles, you have no smog. Fog is very heavy every day. You can watch it flowing from valley to valley. I'm going to take some pictures of it.

Love,

Bob

NEXT WEEK: Letters of reconciliation written decades after the end of the war in Vietnam.