Book Experts Say There's Big Bucks in 'Ultimate Betrayal'

Lauren Beckham Falcone - Boston Herald

Move over Andrew Morton: BFFs are the new celebrity back-stabbers.

Instead of telling their sordid secrets of scandalous star behavior to unauthorized biographers, frenemies are writing their own tell-all tales.

And cashing in big time.

"The Best of Friends: Martha and Me" is written by Mariana Pasternak, former bosom buddy of domestic diva Martha Stewart, now poster girl for middle-aged Mean Girl. Eliot Spitzer's "old friend" and senior adviser Lloyd Constantine just finished up "Journal of the Plague Year," a blow-by-blow of the former New York governor's fall from grace. And let's not forget Andrew Young, John Edwards' "pal," who helped cover up Edwards' affair with Rielle Hunter only to pull back the sheets on all the former presidential candidate's dirty little secrets in "The Politician."

Of course, the subjects of these stories are far from squeaky clean, but the fact that their cronies are dropping dimes doesn't bode well for the bonds of friendship, relationship experts say.

"This is definitely the way it is in 'I need face America,' " author Richard Laermer ("2011: Trendspotting") wrote in an e-mail. "People are turning on whomever they can to make money. Because celebrity connections are always the bestsellers -- at least for now. I think we'll see many more books of this vein -- and even TV shows, blogs and eventually more 'friend of' movies -- because people think brushes with greatness is an easy way to make a buck."

Georgia-based author and relationship expert Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball said the books are "the ultimate betrayal" because they violate everything that constitutes being a friend; she argued that true friendships "entail sharing secrets, affection, loyalty, trust, commitment, honor, integrity and respect."

The authors have violated those bonds and they're nothing but opportunists, she added.

"More and more persons will begin to examine their friends and determine if they are involved in genuine 'friendships,' " she said. "If you can't tell your friend your secrets . . . who can you tell?"

Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage" (Adams Media, 2008) said the BFF tell-all trend is just getting started.

"Of course we'll see former BFFs writing tomes," she said. "There are some friends who have the integrity not to betray a BFF, and some who don't. The money will be out there to tempt them to write. Only the strong can resist."

Not surprisingly, etiquette expert Diane Gottsman of the Protocol School of Texas, said writing a tattler is a total faux pas.

"We are motivated by many things when we 'dish' on others, jealousy, hurt and greed, power and limelight are among them," she said. "It is clear that our day-to-day lives have become desensitized by what we see and read in the media. It is also easy to tweet a comment or text an off-the-cuff remark and it becomes a venue for others to take off with (Retweet!)."

But don't be too discouraged, celebs. Gottsman doesn't think everyone is a potential back-stabber.

"There are many people who still believe in respect and responsibility and that are not motivated by greed, 10 minutes of limelight or personal gain," she said.

----

----

More book reviews

More book news

Copyright 2012 by Boston Herald