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| National Military Family Association |
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The National Military Family Association (NMFA) began with the grassroots efforts of a small group of wives and widows gathered around a kitchen table in 1969. This group of women believing that they could make a difference formed the Military Wives Association. Through their efforts and those of others, the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) was created. In 1984, our name was changed to National Military Family Association to reflect our involvement in a broad scope of family issues. Today, we are still military family members working to make a difference!
Throughout our 35 year history, our accomplishments have been a reflection of our concern for issues that affect the families we serve. Together with The Military Coalition (TMC) of which we were a founding member, we have achieved many successes to include: enhancements to retired pay and the SBP; expansion of the Women's, Infants, and Children (WIC) program overseas; improved benefits for survivors of active duty deaths; increased construction funding for qualify of life facilities; TRICARE for Life (TFL) for Medicare-eligible unformed services beneficiaries; and increased military pay and housing allowances.
Many organizations represent military personnel, active duty, National Guard, Reserves, retirees, and survivors, but the National Military Family Association is the only one whose sole focus is the family.
To find out more about the National Military Family Association go to www.nmfa.org.
Join NMFA now!
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By Kim Edger
National Military Family Association
Military spouses are supposed to be strong, right? Right! We deal with the stress and uncertainty of war, deployments, frequent moves, you name it. How does this relate to shopping you might be thinking? Believe it or not, it does.
As I look back and evaluate the pattern of my behaviors - shopping has played a starring role. It seems that every time we move, I need new sheets and a new comforter for the bed. My shoe collection is becoming a little of out of control.
Let me explain. Looking back at how I handled my husband's deployment to Bosnia has really opened my eyes. I was young and scared, but trying very hard to be strong. I was working two jobs and taking classes in the evenings. I moved through my days and nights in an almost robotic fashion.
There was one major exception. Shopping! I began catalog shopping through the week and hitting the malls on the weekends. My collections of clothing, shoes, and household items were gradually increasing while my funds were doing the opposite. A trip to Wal Mart for laundry detergent would come to an end $100 later. Did I need the new blue cups for the kitchen or the towels for the bathroom?
The Victoria's Secret and Spiegel customer service representatives began to know me by name. I always called instead of using the computer even though my online purchases were faster.
Why do I shop? Now it makes sense. It is not because I need new shoes, or to buy tons of gifts for anyone and everyone, or that sheets and comforters need to be replaced after each move.
Shopping was my solution for dealing with being sad, scared, lonely, and overwhelmed. Did I realize that I spent almost $5,000 unnecessary dollars in a seven-month period? No I didn't. Did I have that money to spend? Well, sort of, but not really. I took advantage of the extra income coming in, and used the credit card too. When my husband returned, we had to deal with the readjustment of being back together, as well as the credit card debt I accrued while he was gone.
Today, I am older and wiser, but I still shop when I am feeling stressed. There is one major difference. If I have extra money, I can buy clothes for the kids or a new comforter, but if I don't have the cash - I don't make the purchase. It may sound crazy but I occasionally log into my Victoria's Secret account and fill my shopping cart with clothes and shoes and even the beauty products they now sell. I look at the total and think "I can't afford all of this, so I'll just get the shoes". Some habits never die completely.
Shopping can be a dangerous therapy for very real emotions that must often be dealt with without notice. I can tell you with unequivocal certainty that shoes didn't bring my husband home faster, and the comforter never lessened the sadness I felt each time I left good friends behind.
You may or may not have been in my shoes, but tell me…why do you shop?
Deployment Expenses
Most families of deployed servicemembers know they can count on additional pay to ease the burden of the extra expenses that pop up during their spouse's absence. The added pay can be as much as several hundred dollars a month especially if the servicemember is deployed to a hostile area. However, before you take your therapeutic shopping trip for new shoes or run out and buy that new living room furniture you've had your eye on, take a look at some of the expenses other spouses had but did not plan for. You may want to work some of these into your budget.
- $25 every three months for the oil change the servicemember would normally do
- $65 per week in babysitting fees
- $800 for two trips to visit family
- $30-$40 per week to eat out restaurant because being a single parent didn't always allow time to cook
- $50-$60 per month on care package goodies including over $100 in batteries over the length of the deployment
- $30 per month on postage
- $25 per month spent on phone cards
- $200 per month spending allowance for the servicemember
Of course there will be unexpected expenses, and the extra pay is intended for those purposes -- even if it is "therapeutic" new shoes. However, many spouses said they were glad they put aside some of the extra money for a reunion vacation or paid off a debt that saved them money when their spouse's pay returned to normal.
--Michelle Joyner, NMFA
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© 2005 National Military Family Association. All rights reserved.
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