Email this page to friends About the Author Gene Thomas Gomulka is a retired Navy Chaplain with over 30 years of pastoral and military experience. Having received the Alfred Thayer Mahan Award from the Secretary of the Navy "for literary achievement and inspirational leadership," his goal is to promote better military marriages. To learn more about his recent works, The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military, and his Marriage and Military Life inventory for dating and married couples, visit the Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military Website. Gene Gomulka Archives Deployment Center Spouse & Family Benefits and Resources Military Opinions Index

Dear Gene-Thomas, I came across your letter entitled “The Greatest Gift” that talked about the affect that parents have upon the psychological development of their children. Because I'm pregnant and my husband is deployed, I'm particularly sensitive to wanting our child to grow up and become loving, respectable and successful…

Andrea

---

Dear Andrea,

I'm glad you enjoyed the recent letter in my weekly column. I'll pass your compliment on to my own pregnant wife (with twins) who recommended that I respond to that particular writer.

While your husband is away trying to make our world a little safer place for everyone (not only for Americans), we hope that his sacrifices, and those of his fellow service men and women, will not prove too costly. It is for this reason we pray that our troops will return both physically and spiritually intact. While “docs” are paid to look after their physical needs, my goal is to help them and their family members not suffer from any of the spiritual consequences that can sometimes derive from multiple long-term deployments (e.g., divorce, unhappy relationships).

In addition to finding support and encouragement in columns and books like my own, as well as by participating in online military community forums, there are a number of authors whose writings can prove inspirational.

One of my favorite writers is Robert Fulghum who is the author of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten ( www.robertfulghum.com ). Fulghum believes that “dreams are more powerful than facts; hope always triumphs over experience; laughter is the only cure for grief; and love is stronger than death." I hope that the following piece he wrote offers you some encouragement as you and your husband look forward to the birth of your child. If you like it, you may consider forwarding it to a friend, particularly another expectant mother.

“Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

“These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody….Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

“…When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder….

“Think of what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

Gene-Thomas Gomulka

Columnist and author whose books are available at www.plaintec.net

[Have an opinion about this article? Visit the deployment discussion forum.]

Have a question? Write Gene Gomulka at letters@plaintec.net

  Email this page to friends