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March 8, 2005
[Have an opinion about the views expressed in this article? Sound
off in the Hot Issues with Defensewatch Forum.]
By Nathaniel R. Helms
The war of words between civilian contractors and military authorities
tearing apart the Land of the Morning Calm continues to wail despite
a major concession by United States Forces Korea (USFK) Commander
Gen. Leon J. LaPorte to rescind his inflammatory order that slapped
a curfew on Department of Defense civilian contractors and dependents
subject to USFK authority.
On Monday, DefenseWatch reported that a serious conflict had erupted
in South Korea over American civilians unfettered right to Korean
poontang ("Making
Korea a Nooky-Free Zone,"). Since our earlier report, dramatic
new events have taken place that bring our original focus into question.
On Tuesday, USFK announced that a modified order issued that day
effective at 1 p.m. local time "removes civilians, including DoD
civilians, DoD invited contractors and SOFA-status family members,
from mandatory compliance, although they are still highly encouraged
to adhere to the curfew hours." Whoopee!
The order also amended service members' off-installation curfew
to allow them to be out until 1 a.m. instead of midnight on Friday,
Saturday and holidays, "including U.S. national holidays, USFK training
holidays, and U.S.-observed ROK holidays," the new order said. It
did not, however, lift any restrictions on service members seeking
solace in South Korea's bawdy houses.
There was no mention of milk and cookies for everyone who is being
good.
The long-simmering feud between the Calvinistic-preaching LaPorte
and the DoD civilians erupted into internecine warfare just before
Christmas after the general issued his unpopular dictate in the
name of preventing "human trafficking" and "force protection, safety,
good order, discipline, and optimum readiness." His target was the
DoD civilians who sought the services of South Korea's ubiquitous
whorehouses in defiance of LaPorte's standing orders that made both
the whores and whoring in general off-limits to American soldiers
and civilians under his authority anywhere in Korea. Suddenly celebrating
civilians found themselves in the same fix as Cinderella except
they had to stay home until 5 a.m. unless they were on official
business.
Instead of deploying Cinderella's wicked sisters to turn the offenders'
coaches into pumpkins and their mousy Korean bimbos into the pestilent
rodents LaPorte declared them to be, the general sallied forth with
his military police armed with unfamiliar (and some would argue
unconstitutional) martial authority to arrest all the DoD civilians
they discovered in violation of the military curfew. The enraged
civilians retaliated by creating a Website called "Free Fed" and
starting a letter-writing campaign to the news media and Congress
declaring LaPorte the "Wicked Witch of the South."
Last fall, LaPorte testified before the House Armed Services Committee
that in the name of human rights, freedom and democracy, he was
prepared to make a clean sweep of the whores, harlots, pimps and
human traffickers that abound in South Korea. The FreeFed manifesto
demands that he be sent home on the broom he flew in on.
It may sound like a fairy tale in what is supposed to be a lean,
mean fighting force defending our Asian flank, but the burgeoning
crisis growing inside the essential American command in South Korea
is very real.
The 5,000 or so civilians supporting the already hamstrung force
on the tense peninsula are the same folks who are supposed to be
protecting our vital interests in a region where a nuclear nutcase
runs around deflowering young virgins while he accumulates atomic
weapons to threaten the fragile peace on the entire region. In that
context, it suddenly turns from a fairy tale to a saga of terrifying
consequences if war was suddenly to erupt where only an armistice
holds together a tenuous peace.
LaPorte's spin doctors explained the apparently routine shift in
policy in a Tuesday press release provided to DefenseWatch by Air
Force Maj. Edwina M. Walton, the Chief of Strategic Communications
and Policy for all American forces in Korea. The soft-pedaling tap-dance
the PAOs choreographed spends two entire pages explaining that the
seemingly sudden turnaround in official policy was merely part of
a continuous assessment process by Gen. LaPorte's people that reflects
"the latest readiness and force protection assessments, analysis
of general and specific threats, inputs from a variety of expert
and leadership advisors, and consideration of numerous other factors
such as quality of life impact for all SOFA-status personnel."
Whew!
On March 8, along with Adm. William J. Fallon, Commander, U.S. Pacific
Command, LaPorte is scheduled to testify before the Senate Armed
Services Committee chaired by powerful Virginia Republican John
Warner about troop readiness in Korea. The civilians up in arms
over LaPorte's high-handedness have mounted a letter-writing campaign
to every member of the Senate Armed force Committee demanding LaPorte
be held accountable for being so darn mean to them. That may explain
why LaPorte's decision to modify his Draconian order was made because
the command "weighed concerns over quality of life issues regarding
mandatory compliance with the curfew for all civilians," as the
press release put it.
Currently on the civilians FreeFed web site bulletin board, contributors
are burning up the nether proclaiming a limited victory and demanding
LaPorte's head just the same.
"Searching4Justice" trumpeted, "This is definitely not over … WRITE
THE SENATE ARMED SERVICES COMMITTEE NOW. Don't wait till after they
meet and he sticks it to you again. Then will be too late. Oh, and
you might focus some on how the Tyrannical Policies and Martial
Law have destroyed USFK morale and readiness across the board."
The "Tyrannical Policies and martial Law" bit was in red text,
apparently for emphasis in case the reader had missed Searching4Justice's
big point.
Somebody calling himself "STRIKE EAGLE," proclaimed, "The Commander
would never have voluntarily agreed to change the curfew policy,
on which he had staked much of his credibility. The real reasons
causing the civilian curfew's discontinuance included the gigantic
financial liability for civil service standby pay to which the command
exposed itself, the near mutinous public reaction to the command's
policies and arrogant justification thereof, and political pressure
emanating from USPACOM and Washington, D.C."
It would seem that every civilian in Korean put in his or her two cents' worth on the "Free Fed" website's bulletin board. Despite the obvious and vocal disdain for LaPorte and his puritanical policies, the Pacific Stars & Stripes reported, "USFK's public affairs office said the [civilian] complaints were not a factor in changing the policy."
So what is it really about? In Tuesday's edition of Stars & Stripes, it was reported that nine U.S. Army Corps of Engineers workers submitted a written request to USFK last Monday explaining that each employee was seeking an average of "800 hours in back pay" as compensation for complying with a military curfew since it was first announced last September, according to the union president representing the group. The Army has until March 14 to respond or else some unspecified event will occur, the report said. Perhaps the employees will turn into pumpkins.
That was also the first clue that DefenseWatch had missed the boat!
The workers told Stars & Stripes reporter Teri Weaver that they were demanding the back pay for contractually specified "standby duty in return for staying home during the nightly curfew policy imposed for civilian workers since September." Their demand begs the question of when were these guys going to get some sleep. Apparently these civilians are iron men and women capable of carousing all night and working all day. Perhaps LaPorte will mention that gratifying discovery during his testimony before Congress. It would certainly be good news amongst all the bad stuff he will be forced to reveal.
Corps of Engineers union president Jeffrey Meadows reportedly sent a one-page letter to Army officials in Seoul as the first step in filing a formal grievance to obtain the money. Meadows told Stars & Stripes that he and other union members first thought of the idea as a way to push USFK leaders into easing or eliminating the curfew.
"Well, that was our goal a month ago," he is quoted as saying. "But now our focus is the money."
Isn't that just dandy! It isn't about poontang after all.
LaPorte will be ecstatic to learn that. It is really about money and greed! What a sad commentary on the state of affairs in our bastion in the Pacific. Maybe we should all wish for the Magic Princess to appear and sprinkle some happy dust around. What is currently happening in South Korea sounds like a sad, sad fairy tale desperately in need of a happy ending.
©2005 DefenseWatch. Contributing Editor
Nathaniel R. "Nat" Helms is a Vietnam veteran, former police officer,
long-time journalist and war correspondent living in Missouri. He
is the author of two books, Numba One - Numba Ten and Journey Into
Madness: A Hitchhiker's Account of the Bosnian Civil War, both available
at www.ebooks-online.com.
He can be reached at natshouse1@charter.net.
All opinions expressed in this article are the author's and do not
necessarily reflect those of Military.com.
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